Let Me Live It For Myself

Again, this happened on May 25th--I think it is important to see where we have come from in this process:

He is obviously supportive of the whole sheriff’s deputy thing. And granted, he has worked for them. He has been to the academy. He knows people. He has done all the things I am about to set out to do. The bad thing…he tells me how it is going to be. What it is going to be like. What I am going to do. What I am not going to do. The people that are at the academy. At the sheriff’s office. People I should get to know. Well you know what? THIS IS MY DREAM. LET ME LIVE IT. LEARN FROM IT. AND EXPERIENCE IT FOR MYSELF. If I have a question, I will come to you. I like having a source of information. But let me have this. Let me have this experience. Experience it again for yourself through me. Watch me go through it. Support me through it. Live it again…through me.

I don’t want to be that girlfriend that brings up old shit when we argue or anything so I guess this is the best outlet for all of this. I would hate beyond all hate to turn out to be someone he couldn’t love. All because I love him so much. Even when the above traits get on my nerves. We are made for each other. There are so many things that we are exactly the same on. There are many things that we are opposites on. And that’s ok. That’s healthy. That’s good for us.

He makes me smile. He makes me laugh. We both sacrifice for the relationship. He probably does a little more than I do, since he drives all the way out here to see me/spend the night. It really really means a lot when he comes over on the night before he has to work the next morning. To spend the night. He comes over to go to sleep with me. And he doesn’t get THAT good of sleep here either. This past week, for example, he spent Friday night with me. Saturday night. I took him to the airport Sunday. I picked him up on Monday (which I love--such a good girlfriend duty). Spent the night Monday night. He had to work Wednesday morning--and he spent the night Tuesday night. Had to wake up at 3:40 AM. Jeez. Wednesday night, he came over after I got back from trivia. Granted by the time he got here I was asleep, as I was on Tuesday night as well, all he wanted to do (so it seemed) was fall asleep with me. Thursday we went to dinner but then he went home. That’s a hell of a lot of spending the night. I love it. I love every minute of it. Every minute. The more time we spend together, the more we realize how great we are together.

Yes, he frustrated me tonight and he could tell I got that way and I just said, “Ok. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Bye.” I waited for him to say bye. And then I hung up. GRRRR. It happens. No biggie.