Well, allow me to apologize for not maintaining my site. It's been a crazy few months.
September: Went to the police academy. Met some great people. I did great on my first three tests. Then week four came...
October: Week four: driving and firearms qualifications. Let me say, I kicked some butt on driving. We had to drive the course between 4:00 and 4:30. I did it in 4:03. The fastest times for the females! Firearms: I failed. Yeah, I failed. Horrible day. Never felt like I had let so many people down in my life. I will tell you one thing, the girls I had met there were wonderful...they took my keys from me and packed up my car while I was in the office doing the un-registration paperwork. I will always love them for that.
November: I was in training, waiting for a spot to open up at the academy for me to go back.
December: Went back! Aced firearms (200/220). Met more people who were just as great.
January 11th, 2008: I graduated from the academy. Both sets of parents came. And so did my best friend and her fiance! It was great! And of course my wonderful boyfriend was there too! I have never seen him so proud! It was a wonderful feeling.
I have been in training since graduation and up until March 11th. I had my release board and was set out on my own. OH MY GOSH, are they sure they know what they are doing??! HA.
I have been at Radar Certification class the last two days too.
Ok, I know it's been a very rough catch up, but it's pretty accurate. Yes, I saw some great things while I was in training (shootings, fights, assaults, CDV, good stuff like that) but now it is my turn to see it on my own.
I'll try to keep this more up to date. I promise. Don't hate me!
Take care and be safe out there!!!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Updates and OC Spray
Well, I may have misspoke on the previous post in regards to pain. Let's just say that I would rather get Tasered again before getting sprayed again. Taser= 5 Seconds and you are done. OC Spray= About 30 minutes of pain. And then again when you shower.
Let's see what else I have done while in training (this is going to take a while):
August 20: We toured the detention center, got our IDs made, and got a whole lot of manuals. The other guy is already certified from a local agency. He's really nice and I like him.
August 21: We toured HQ; got SWORN IN (it was cheesy, but I LOVED IT!); a long lunch at a very nice restaurant with MKJ; went to Logistics to start to order and get fitted for uniforms and gear; and went to the county court house to sign the log book (to say we are available for court).
August 22: The other guy in training and I get along great. We are both punctual and get things done fast. On this day, we went to aviation for a little briefing; ticket control for a little orientation; long lunch; went to victim's advocate office for a short orientation; and then a short little tour around communications (where dispatch is located).
August 23: DUM DUM DUM....Firearm Qualification. Now, don't be scared, but I didn't qualify the first time. I guess I was nervous. The other guy is a firearms instructor. He is great. Such pressure. After a long lunch (imagine that), we went to K-9. We followed the officers out to the middle of no where--we got out of the car and he said, "Ok, you have 10 minutes. Run". Excuse me? Yeah, we ran. Opposite directions. For about 10 minutes. All of a sudden you hear people coming through the woods. Though I knew I was safe, I could imagine someone hearing that could be scared. It was the bloodhounds and the handlers. It was so cool. Then we put one of the officers in the "bite suit" and made him start running in a field then let loose a K-9 to attack him. Again, so cool.
August 24: We went to the Police Academy graduation in Columbia. Pretty much because they had nothing else to do with us!
August 27: I had to again, sit through the Report Writing talk by the training Deputy. There is a different guy that is now training with me. The one from last week is on the road now with his FTI (Field Training Instructor) since he was already certified. This new guy…his nickname is “asshole”. I dislike him. He is straight from the Marines. He was an MP. Nothing wrong with any of this, but he is just a cocky SOB. People have told me that sometimes guys straight out of the military don’t necessarily make the best cops. We’ll see. He has the marksmanship and the physical stuff down. He admits to the academic part of the academy that is going to be a problem. Great…that’s about 90% of it! After lunch, we were done for the day.
August 28: I was assigned to do a Ride-Along with the West district. I rode with a great deputy. She has been with the agency for about 14 years. We got along great. We did not get into too much stuff that day. It was still fun. The only call we really had was for a man being a disturbance in front of an office. The deputy was searching him and then realized he had shit his pants shortly before. We both freaked out because we both smelled him at the same time. It stayed with us all day. Yummy!
August 29: I was assigned to the Courthouse downtown for the day. I thought it was going to be boring. I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t totally boring. There were a few good cases. I met a lot of people and it was pretty cool to be able to see the behind the scenes of it all. That is such an easy job. Monday through Friday. 9 to 5. Only overtime if you want it. ONLY. Jeez.
August 30: DUM DUM DUM. Again. Firearms Qualifications. This time, I PASSED!!!! MKJ and I practiced some the previous week. On Monday, Asshole and I went shooting. Just because I don’t like him doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t take him up on shooting. He was also a firearms instructor in the Marines. It’s good to get different perspectives when practicing shooting.
August 31: This Ride Along was with North District. This is notoriously the most active district…at night. Not during the middle of the day. The bad kids are in school. And the dealers are sleeping from being up all night selling drugs. Awesome. We did some general calls…nothing too interesting. At all. But this officer was great too. He is also an FTI (as was the deputy from West). I learned that when he does talk, listen. When he does talk, it is something worth listening to. I found out the next day during the shift briefing, someone was talking shit about me. Well, a friend of MKJ’s works on that shift and he stood up for me. The officer I rode with the day before also stood up for me. He said I have something many of the officers out there don’t have: common sense. It was nice to hear.
Sept 4: Myself and the other two guys that are going to the academy with me went to register in Columbia. Once we got back to Charleston, we were done for the day. Nice.
Sept 5: I did another Ride Along with the North Division. I rode with the same deputy as well. We had a call for a disturbance at someone's house. When we got there, it ended up being a domestic call. We found the boyfriend that had hit this girl (she had a bleeding cut above her eye). He wanted to run so bad! We arrested him and he ended up having a warrant for his arrest anyway. After looking at his rap sheet, it was apparent that we were dealing with someone with violent tendencies. Well that would have been nice to know when we approached him!
Sept 6: I rode with West Division again. Same deputy. We had to go to court for a hearing she had. We did a few other things, but mainly writing speeding tickets.
Sept 7: Aviation again. But this time, instead of just listening to them, I got to fly! Three times!
And the last time, it was amazing--he let me fly the helicopter! I got some great pictures. It was so great. It's amazing seeing the city from that view. We went by MKJ's department and he was outside waiving at me! We went everywhere!
Sept 10: We did some more shooting at the range. I have already qualified so it was just some more practice. That afternoon, we got Tasered (see post about the pain). Not a good time. That really hurt. The longest 5 seconds ever. What a ride!
Sept 11: I sat in Communications (Dispatch) for some of the morning. I go to listen to the 911 calls. They were actually really interesting. Some of the things that people call in for are insane! That afternoon, we got sprayed with OC (really hardcore pepperspray). Again, pain. Let me just say, I would rather get Tasered again than OC sprayed again. The pain lasted for over 30 minutes. WAY over. And when I got in the shower when I got home, it all happened again. MKJ worried when he walked in the door to my place and heard me yelling from the shower. Ha.
Sept 12: I was in Warrants all day yesterday. I was with a deputy that knows MKJ really well. We had such a good time. We picked up someone from the city that had a warrant. Booked him. We had a guy from Hanahan that had a warrant. Booked him. We served a woman in the jail. Crackhead. Good times. We ran into an attorney he works with a lot and the attorney bought us lunch. It was a great day!
Sept 13: TODAY: I was in CID (Criminal Investigation Division) all morning. It was pretty boring. One of the investigators was about to interview a suspect and bring me in on it, but I had planned on leaving at about noon. I did. And went to have lunch with MKJ and my best friend on the other side of town. Now, we are going shooting in a little while. Then going to a movie. Then spending the night at his house. I don't have to be at training until about 9. It's my last day there.
I GO TO THE ACADEMY THIS WEEKEND!!!
I have to admit I am really nervous. Terrified of failure. I am not much of a runner, but they can't fail me for that. Thank goodness. I so many people pulling for me, so it is that much more pressure. Nervous. Excited. Anxious (a lot). Happy.
I'll add more of my feelings tomorrow maybe. I have a lot to get together this weekend!
Wish me luck!
Let's see what else I have done while in training (this is going to take a while):
August 20: We toured the detention center, got our IDs made, and got a whole lot of manuals. The other guy is already certified from a local agency. He's really nice and I like him.
August 21: We toured HQ; got SWORN IN (it was cheesy, but I LOVED IT!); a long lunch at a very nice restaurant with MKJ; went to Logistics to start to order and get fitted for uniforms and gear; and went to the county court house to sign the log book (to say we are available for court).
August 22: The other guy in training and I get along great. We are both punctual and get things done fast. On this day, we went to aviation for a little briefing; ticket control for a little orientation; long lunch; went to victim's advocate office for a short orientation; and then a short little tour around communications (where dispatch is located).
August 23: DUM DUM DUM....Firearm Qualification. Now, don't be scared, but I didn't qualify the first time. I guess I was nervous. The other guy is a firearms instructor. He is great. Such pressure. After a long lunch (imagine that), we went to K-9. We followed the officers out to the middle of no where--we got out of the car and he said, "Ok, you have 10 minutes. Run". Excuse me? Yeah, we ran. Opposite directions. For about 10 minutes. All of a sudden you hear people coming through the woods. Though I knew I was safe, I could imagine someone hearing that could be scared. It was the bloodhounds and the handlers. It was so cool. Then we put one of the officers in the "bite suit" and made him start running in a field then let loose a K-9 to attack him. Again, so cool.
August 24: We went to the Police Academy graduation in Columbia. Pretty much because they had nothing else to do with us!
August 27: I had to again, sit through the Report Writing talk by the training Deputy. There is a different guy that is now training with me. The one from last week is on the road now with his FTI (Field Training Instructor) since he was already certified. This new guy…his nickname is “asshole”. I dislike him. He is straight from the Marines. He was an MP. Nothing wrong with any of this, but he is just a cocky SOB. People have told me that sometimes guys straight out of the military don’t necessarily make the best cops. We’ll see. He has the marksmanship and the physical stuff down. He admits to the academic part of the academy that is going to be a problem. Great…that’s about 90% of it! After lunch, we were done for the day.
August 28: I was assigned to do a Ride-Along with the West district. I rode with a great deputy. She has been with the agency for about 14 years. We got along great. We did not get into too much stuff that day. It was still fun. The only call we really had was for a man being a disturbance in front of an office. The deputy was searching him and then realized he had shit his pants shortly before. We both freaked out because we both smelled him at the same time. It stayed with us all day. Yummy!
August 29: I was assigned to the Courthouse downtown for the day. I thought it was going to be boring. I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t totally boring. There were a few good cases. I met a lot of people and it was pretty cool to be able to see the behind the scenes of it all. That is such an easy job. Monday through Friday. 9 to 5. Only overtime if you want it. ONLY. Jeez.
August 30: DUM DUM DUM. Again. Firearms Qualifications. This time, I PASSED!!!! MKJ and I practiced some the previous week. On Monday, Asshole and I went shooting. Just because I don’t like him doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t take him up on shooting. He was also a firearms instructor in the Marines. It’s good to get different perspectives when practicing shooting.
August 31: This Ride Along was with North District. This is notoriously the most active district…at night. Not during the middle of the day. The bad kids are in school. And the dealers are sleeping from being up all night selling drugs. Awesome. We did some general calls…nothing too interesting. At all. But this officer was great too. He is also an FTI (as was the deputy from West). I learned that when he does talk, listen. When he does talk, it is something worth listening to. I found out the next day during the shift briefing, someone was talking shit about me. Well, a friend of MKJ’s works on that shift and he stood up for me. The officer I rode with the day before also stood up for me. He said I have something many of the officers out there don’t have: common sense. It was nice to hear.
Sept 4: Myself and the other two guys that are going to the academy with me went to register in Columbia. Once we got back to Charleston, we were done for the day. Nice.
Sept 5: I did another Ride Along with the North Division. I rode with the same deputy as well. We had a call for a disturbance at someone's house. When we got there, it ended up being a domestic call. We found the boyfriend that had hit this girl (she had a bleeding cut above her eye). He wanted to run so bad! We arrested him and he ended up having a warrant for his arrest anyway. After looking at his rap sheet, it was apparent that we were dealing with someone with violent tendencies. Well that would have been nice to know when we approached him!
Sept 6: I rode with West Division again. Same deputy. We had to go to court for a hearing she had. We did a few other things, but mainly writing speeding tickets.
Sept 7: Aviation again. But this time, instead of just listening to them, I got to fly! Three times!
And the last time, it was amazing--he let me fly the helicopter! I got some great pictures. It was so great. It's amazing seeing the city from that view. We went by MKJ's department and he was outside waiving at me! We went everywhere!Sept 10: We did some more shooting at the range. I have already qualified so it was just some more practice. That afternoon, we got Tasered (see post about the pain). Not a good time. That really hurt. The longest 5 seconds ever. What a ride!
Sept 11: I sat in Communications (Dispatch) for some of the morning. I go to listen to the 911 calls. They were actually really interesting. Some of the things that people call in for are insane! That afternoon, we got sprayed with OC (really hardcore pepperspray). Again, pain. Let me just say, I would rather get Tasered again than OC sprayed again. The pain lasted for over 30 minutes. WAY over. And when I got in the shower when I got home, it all happened again. MKJ worried when he walked in the door to my place and heard me yelling from the shower. Ha.
Sept 12: I was in Warrants all day yesterday. I was with a deputy that knows MKJ really well. We had such a good time. We picked up someone from the city that had a warrant. Booked him. We had a guy from Hanahan that had a warrant. Booked him. We served a woman in the jail. Crackhead. Good times. We ran into an attorney he works with a lot and the attorney bought us lunch. It was a great day!
Sept 13: TODAY: I was in CID (Criminal Investigation Division) all morning. It was pretty boring. One of the investigators was about to interview a suspect and bring me in on it, but I had planned on leaving at about noon. I did. And went to have lunch with MKJ and my best friend on the other side of town. Now, we are going shooting in a little while. Then going to a movie. Then spending the night at his house. I don't have to be at training until about 9. It's my last day there.
I GO TO THE ACADEMY THIS WEEKEND!!!
I have to admit I am really nervous. Terrified of failure. I am not much of a runner, but they can't fail me for that. Thank goodness. I so many people pulling for me, so it is that much more pressure. Nervous. Excited. Anxious (a lot). Happy.
I'll add more of my feelings tomorrow maybe. I have a lot to get together this weekend!
Wish me luck!
OUCH!
I know I have been slack on writing, but I have been very busy in training.
Let me just say this...no matter what they say...
TASERS HURT!!!
Of course it was optional...but I could not wuss out!!
I will catch everything else up soon!
Let me just say this...no matter what they say...
TASERS HURT!!!
Of course it was optional...but I could not wuss out!!
I will catch everything else up soon!
Sunday, August 19, 2007
First REAL Day
Friday was my official first day as a deputy sheriff. I had to sit through orientation. It was for all new County employees. Of course, like all firsts (first day of school, new job, first date, etc), I was a little nervous. All of that vanished when I opened the door. I saw a friend of mine from college. We had met my first year. He was an RA on the first floor of my dorm. I lived on the second floor. We had a biology class and a calculus class together. He helped me with biology and I helped him with calculus. He became a good friend that year. We lost contact for a little while after my junior year. It was just so good to see him though. We ended up going to have lunch together that day to catch up. It was nice to have a friendly face in that crowd.
Something did bother me during orientation though. The first thing we all did was stand up and say our name and what department we were working for. It was like AA (yes, I have been to an AA meeting-It was for a class, thanks!). My name is _______. And I work in the Sheriff's Office as a deputy sheriff. Well, two other people were also deputies. I should add they were both male. And already certified. Well, during one of our little breaks, one came over and introduced himself to the other male deputy. They chatted for the entire break. I was standing less than a yard away and they IGNORED me. Wow. Thanks for the warm welcome. Can't wait to become as asshole like you guys!
After working out that evening, I suddenly got really down in the dumps. It was strange. I knew I should have been on cloud nine, but I just wasn't there at all. I told MKJ as I went into the gym that I wasn't in a good mood. And it had something to do with not having anyone to share my excitement with (he was working that night). His response is as follows (in 9 text messages):
"Let me put this in perspective. You are now employed by the premier LE agency in the area."
"Everything you worked towards is bearing fruit."
"Some of the busiest weeks of your life are fast approaching."
"This is the time to relax and prepare."
"You should be high as a kite right now."
"If you feel you need to go out call _______, _________, or _______." (mutual friends)
"But don't bitch, because they're are people that would kill for the euphoria you should be feeling right now."
"Practice with that holster, dry-fire with weak and strong hand, finish your questions...and smile! This is what you've fought for!"
"I wonder if I am more excited than you are."
I love him.
I have taken this weekend slow. Still worked out everyday. Still ate well. Still got out and got some sun. Now, I am cleaning because my mother is coming into town tomorrow night--my swearing in is Tuesday morning. My brother may come to.
My best friend called last night and we talked for a while. MKJ knew I was upset about her not knowing/caring about me getting sworn in. I was there bright and early for hers--the day after college graduation! Hungover, but happy. Like a good boyfriend, MKJ texted her to tell her about it. I am glad he did. It means a lot that she be there. She has been there since I realized I wanted to do this in the first place.
Well, I need to work on my questions/dry-fire/clean/contemplate life. Have a good week!
Something did bother me during orientation though. The first thing we all did was stand up and say our name and what department we were working for. It was like AA (yes, I have been to an AA meeting-It was for a class, thanks!). My name is _______. And I work in the Sheriff's Office as a deputy sheriff. Well, two other people were also deputies. I should add they were both male. And already certified. Well, during one of our little breaks, one came over and introduced himself to the other male deputy. They chatted for the entire break. I was standing less than a yard away and they IGNORED me. Wow. Thanks for the warm welcome. Can't wait to become as asshole like you guys!
After working out that evening, I suddenly got really down in the dumps. It was strange. I knew I should have been on cloud nine, but I just wasn't there at all. I told MKJ as I went into the gym that I wasn't in a good mood. And it had something to do with not having anyone to share my excitement with (he was working that night). His response is as follows (in 9 text messages):
"Let me put this in perspective. You are now employed by the premier LE agency in the area."
"Everything you worked towards is bearing fruit."
"Some of the busiest weeks of your life are fast approaching."
"This is the time to relax and prepare."
"You should be high as a kite right now."
"If you feel you need to go out call _______, _________, or _______." (mutual friends)
"But don't bitch, because they're are people that would kill for the euphoria you should be feeling right now."
"Practice with that holster, dry-fire with weak and strong hand, finish your questions...and smile! This is what you've fought for!"
"I wonder if I am more excited than you are."
I love him.
I have taken this weekend slow. Still worked out everyday. Still ate well. Still got out and got some sun. Now, I am cleaning because my mother is coming into town tomorrow night--my swearing in is Tuesday morning. My brother may come to.
My best friend called last night and we talked for a while. MKJ knew I was upset about her not knowing/caring about me getting sworn in. I was there bright and early for hers--the day after college graduation! Hungover, but happy. Like a good boyfriend, MKJ texted her to tell her about it. I am glad he did. It means a lot that she be there. She has been there since I realized I wanted to do this in the first place.
Well, I need to work on my questions/dry-fire/clean/contemplate life. Have a good week!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Policy and Procedure
I finally got in touch with the training Sgt for the Sheriff's Office. I had to pick up the Sheriff's Office Policy and Procedure Manual from him. Only when I got there (to the jail--the book, my car and now my apartment all smells like it) was I told how this works:
For each of the 120 policy and procedures, I have to make up 2 questions and then answer them. Each policy is about 7-9 pages front and back. This doesn't seem too hard, but then when the policy is about inspections or about dress code, its tough to find something I can ask a question about. I mean, I can bullshit it all, but I really want to make an effort. Yeah, I want to look good.
This binder (the manual) is huge too. And damnit it still smells like the jail. For anyone that has been in jail (for punishment or for booking a prisoner) you understand the smell a jail has. It smells like steel, piss, and BO. And anger. And aggression. And stupidity. No, I can't tell you what those last three specifically smell like, but there is a smell. Ha. It's gross. Even the clothes I wore there smelled like it. And I didn't even go into the actual jail behind the monitored steel doors--just to the training department. I don't know how those people do it.
Well, I have this week off of work. Last Thursday was my last day at the insurance brokerage house. It was fun while I was there. In a previous post I said "good riddance" about leaving, but that isn't how I really feel. It was more of the fact that I was getting antsy about leaving. I knew what was ahead so I was excited. Anyways, this week has been surprisingly busy. Every morning, I get up at 6. At the gym by about 8:30. Back by about 10. Work on the above policy and procedure manual. Lay out. Work on it again. Then back to the gym in the afternoon (or evening). Make dinner and then work on the policy and procedure manual again. I stay busy.
Tomorrow I have a follow up appointment for my colonoscopy--which, by the way, it's tough to decide which is worse: making sure you don't have a condition or knowing you were passed out and raped for the rest of your life. Ha. Kidding. The doctor gave me PLENTY of medicine to make me pass out. I would wake up during the procedure and ask what something was and before he could answer, I would be passed out again. He did tell me, once I was more coherent, that he did not see any signs of Crohn's disease or anything else that concerned him. He did say he biopsied a few things but nothing serious. WHOO HOO! That is definitely good news.
I am getting excited and anxious about Friday. It is all day orientation for all county employees. Probably be boring. Know it will be boring. Tuesday is what I am looking forward to--getting sworn in! My mother is coming into town for it. MKJ and his mother (maybe) will be there. Very exciting!
Sorry for not being more up to date. I'll try harder...I promise!
For each of the 120 policy and procedures, I have to make up 2 questions and then answer them. Each policy is about 7-9 pages front and back. This doesn't seem too hard, but then when the policy is about inspections or about dress code, its tough to find something I can ask a question about. I mean, I can bullshit it all, but I really want to make an effort. Yeah, I want to look good.
This binder (the manual) is huge too. And damnit it still smells like the jail. For anyone that has been in jail (for punishment or for booking a prisoner) you understand the smell a jail has. It smells like steel, piss, and BO. And anger. And aggression. And stupidity. No, I can't tell you what those last three specifically smell like, but there is a smell. Ha. It's gross. Even the clothes I wore there smelled like it. And I didn't even go into the actual jail behind the monitored steel doors--just to the training department. I don't know how those people do it.
Well, I have this week off of work. Last Thursday was my last day at the insurance brokerage house. It was fun while I was there. In a previous post I said "good riddance" about leaving, but that isn't how I really feel. It was more of the fact that I was getting antsy about leaving. I knew what was ahead so I was excited. Anyways, this week has been surprisingly busy. Every morning, I get up at 6. At the gym by about 8:30. Back by about 10. Work on the above policy and procedure manual. Lay out. Work on it again. Then back to the gym in the afternoon (or evening). Make dinner and then work on the policy and procedure manual again. I stay busy.
Tomorrow I have a follow up appointment for my colonoscopy--which, by the way, it's tough to decide which is worse: making sure you don't have a condition or knowing you were passed out and raped for the rest of your life. Ha. Kidding. The doctor gave me PLENTY of medicine to make me pass out. I would wake up during the procedure and ask what something was and before he could answer, I would be passed out again. He did tell me, once I was more coherent, that he did not see any signs of Crohn's disease or anything else that concerned him. He did say he biopsied a few things but nothing serious. WHOO HOO! That is definitely good news.
I am getting excited and anxious about Friday. It is all day orientation for all county employees. Probably be boring. Know it will be boring. Tuesday is what I am looking forward to--getting sworn in! My mother is coming into town for it. MKJ and his mother (maybe) will be there. Very exciting!
Sorry for not being more up to date. I'll try harder...I promise!
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Cops and Colons (lots of asses going on!)
Since MKJ is a police officer, I ride with him sometimes. It's a nice way to spend some time with him when I would otherwise not see him for three days in a row. Last night, I rode with him from about 7 PM until 6 AM. We had a good time. His agency is small and they were jokingly complaining about his penmanship on his tickets making it difficult to formulate and arrange the court docket. So, since I was riding and I need to learn to write tickets anyway, he made me write all of his warning and state tickets. We arrested some kid and he made me do the booking report too. By the time we got back from the jail, it was almost time to leave--well, we didn't want to get into anything that would require going back to the jail or producing more paperwork. We got home as the sun was rising. Then we make breakfast (bacon, egg omelettes, and English muffins--YUM!) and went to sleep for a little while. He has to work tonight, so he will be sleeping more today. I am home now. Just drinking water, ginger ale, and some vanilla pudding...
Raise your hand if you are excited about getting a colonoscopy!?!Fasting all day! Sleeping and doing nothing.
Just thought I would share! HA.
Raise your hand if you are excited about getting a colonoscopy!?!Fasting all day! Sleeping and doing nothing.Just thought I would share! HA.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Doctors and Family
Well, the doctor’s appointment went well. Really well. I am on a Prednisone Pack for 6 days. Then I will be put on Humira. FOR-EV-ER (you have to have seen The Sandlot to get that one). Probably not forever, but for a while. It’s a self inject able which is convenient.
Back at the gym everyday. No matter what. At least 30 minutes of cardio and then some weights. I work out with Kate twice a week--one of those days includes her spin class. It’s crunch time. I know I need to start running, but I am going to wait a few more days for that. I am not putting it off, but I just want to make sure my cardio is up for it. Heaven forbid I hurt something. I can’t handle that. Don’t have time.
____________________
I was thinking about family today. In particular, my family. I listen to women talk about how close they are with their mother and how wonderful their relationship is. I am not jealous so much as I am intrigued. My mother and I get along, don’t get me wrong, but not like that. Not in the “let me call her as soon as I hear some good news” or “I need to talk something out and ooo, I’ll call my mom since she is good at listening”. Those thoughts do not come through my mind…and if they do, I call CRR, my future stepmother.
It’s never been a secret that my brother is my mother’s favorite child. I know you say that mother’s can have favorites--well you have never met mine. I have to give her credit that she did stay by my side while I was in the hospital. And it was wonderful. It truly was. We haven’t spent any time together since then, but it could have been a turning point in our relationship. Nonetheless, my father has tried to compensate for this fact ever since I was a child. He paid extra attention to me--we would drive up to go see Duke basketball games on a school night, go to dinner, let me “help” during the rec basketball games, and just stuff like that. My dad is the father who would LOVE taking us to elementary and middle school events (or Skateland) just to hear us--and get to experience that part of life again through our lives. It was obviously unappreciated then, but now, I can’t tell him enough how good of a dad he was to me growing up. Again, don’t get me wrong, he is still there at EVERY SINGLE phone call. Every tear. Every fear. Every triumph. Every disappointment. He’s always there for me. Someone told me that now, my dad isn’t worried about me meeting the wrong guys, but instead, worried about me meeting the right now. Worried--why? He thinks he will lose me. He never could. I’m his little girl. Now my mother…
…She loves me in a way that I don’t understand or see as clearly. I think that now she believes and maybe sees that I am maturing--whatever that means--and she could easily lose her place. She wants to be friends or something of the sort. When I call her with the “good news” or just to chat, she is all mine for about 2 minutes. Then she is scatterbrained. Preoccupied. Vacant. It’s no use to talk to her on the phone. Sometimes, I just don’t understand her. I just hope I do not do the same to my daughter one day.
On my career:
My father is worried. Not worried. Maybe just concerned. Again, I am just his little girl in a pink ballerina outfit prancing through the house on Christmas morning in his eyes. He knows me. He of course is going to be concerned, but he knows that I have a good head on my shoulders and can judge a situation quickly and accurately. He'll ask about my day but will not want to know what happened.
My mother on the other hand is wide ass open about it. She is all about it. I guess she has seen one too many COPS shows. She just wants to stories every night. She is concerned maybe, but not like my father. She is concerned in ways I can't explain. I guess for both of them, neither one saw this coming!
She did say one thing that has stuck with me: "I have always taught you to run away from danger and here you are wanting to run into it."
Back at the gym everyday. No matter what. At least 30 minutes of cardio and then some weights. I work out with Kate twice a week--one of those days includes her spin class. It’s crunch time. I know I need to start running, but I am going to wait a few more days for that. I am not putting it off, but I just want to make sure my cardio is up for it. Heaven forbid I hurt something. I can’t handle that. Don’t have time.
____________________
I was thinking about family today. In particular, my family. I listen to women talk about how close they are with their mother and how wonderful their relationship is. I am not jealous so much as I am intrigued. My mother and I get along, don’t get me wrong, but not like that. Not in the “let me call her as soon as I hear some good news” or “I need to talk something out and ooo, I’ll call my mom since she is good at listening”. Those thoughts do not come through my mind…and if they do, I call CRR, my future stepmother.
It’s never been a secret that my brother is my mother’s favorite child. I know you say that mother’s can have favorites--well you have never met mine. I have to give her credit that she did stay by my side while I was in the hospital. And it was wonderful. It truly was. We haven’t spent any time together since then, but it could have been a turning point in our relationship. Nonetheless, my father has tried to compensate for this fact ever since I was a child. He paid extra attention to me--we would drive up to go see Duke basketball games on a school night, go to dinner, let me “help” during the rec basketball games, and just stuff like that. My dad is the father who would LOVE taking us to elementary and middle school events (or Skateland) just to hear us--and get to experience that part of life again through our lives. It was obviously unappreciated then, but now, I can’t tell him enough how good of a dad he was to me growing up. Again, don’t get me wrong, he is still there at EVERY SINGLE phone call. Every tear. Every fear. Every triumph. Every disappointment. He’s always there for me. Someone told me that now, my dad isn’t worried about me meeting the wrong guys, but instead, worried about me meeting the right now. Worried--why? He thinks he will lose me. He never could. I’m his little girl. Now my mother…
…She loves me in a way that I don’t understand or see as clearly. I think that now she believes and maybe sees that I am maturing--whatever that means--and she could easily lose her place. She wants to be friends or something of the sort. When I call her with the “good news” or just to chat, she is all mine for about 2 minutes. Then she is scatterbrained. Preoccupied. Vacant. It’s no use to talk to her on the phone. Sometimes, I just don’t understand her. I just hope I do not do the same to my daughter one day.
On my career:
My father is worried. Not worried. Maybe just concerned. Again, I am just his little girl in a pink ballerina outfit prancing through the house on Christmas morning in his eyes. He knows me. He of course is going to be concerned, but he knows that I have a good head on my shoulders and can judge a situation quickly and accurately. He'll ask about my day but will not want to know what happened.
My mother on the other hand is wide ass open about it. She is all about it. I guess she has seen one too many COPS shows. She just wants to stories every night. She is concerned maybe, but not like my father. She is concerned in ways I can't explain. I guess for both of them, neither one saw this coming!
She did say one thing that has stuck with me: "I have always taught you to run away from danger and here you are wanting to run into it."
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